I really miss my family. I haven't seen them in awhile. Felix will turn 3 this month! I can hardly believe it. I miss Mom and Holly and Miles, too. Not to mention my dad. Hopefully I will see them soon.

Obviously Meg and I haven't been able to get internet service even yet, so we are at Lucas and Ashlee's using theirs. Our money situation hasn't improved one bit, and I'm really getting sick of it. I can't wait until Megan gets a job so we can be comfortable again.

Mom called me today bitching about the cell phone bill, so this will be my last post until February 3. That's when Meg and I will be able to get internet service.

Dr. Melville says I definitely have a cyst on my left ovary. We are going to wait six weeks and repeat the ultrasound to see if the cyst is still there.

I just checked my mail and got my Form 1099 so I can file my taxes! Meg got 2 out of 3 of her W-2s so she is almost ready to file hers. It's money time, people!

I am sick of living well below the poverty line. I bring in $680 a month and that's it. Megan has no income since she is out of a job right now. We can't afford the things we need, including food. It's a miracle that I even have this cell phone, and that's only because of my mother's generosity. I hope Obama will make some serious changes to stabilize the economy and bring relief to the poor folks.

When we took J.R. to his appointment this morning, we stopped at Shell and he bought us a pack of cigarettes. Thank God for J.R.! Then Meg and I went to the municipal center where she applied for food stamps. We need them so we can get back on our feet.

I am psyched that Barack Obama will officially be inaugurated as President of the United States as of tomorrow. I really believe he is the hope of the future and that he will change this country for the better. I love you Obama!!!

Jack is probably going to lose his job sometime this year, after 30 or so years as a local radio personality. I feel bad for them but it also means they're not made of money anymore. I need to stop asking for it anyway. I'm a grown woman.

Megan and I had such a blissful night last night. We laid in bed and just kissed and touched. It was so great! I love her with all my heart.

High school was a rough time for me. I was constantly depressed and needed a lot of attention. Hell, I think attempting suicide and drinking mini-bottles of Jack Daniels in the bathroom stall qualifies as psycho. Or maybe just severely troubled. Thank God for my high school guidance counselor.

So, we're driving home to Paris and Meg can only drive about 35 miles an hour the whole way. It was so slick on U.S. 27 that we only passed one car on the road the entire 20 or 30 minutes it took us to get to the bypass. Damn.

Meg and I were driving up here earlier and the snow was beating against the windshield like damn shooting stars. The roads are getting slick too.

My phone won't let me post long entries without timing out and making me lose everything. It pisses me off. Meg and I got in a tiny argument this afternoon but things are fine now. Jack got me some groceries and Meg and I got some of the stuff out of my apartment. All in all, a good day.

I identify most with Eeyore. He's so sad and moody, and that is how I feel a lot of the time.

I'd rather be comfortable, thank you. Whoever spends too much time looking stylish is shallow, in my opinion. However, there's something to be said for looking like you care about yourself. You can do that and still be comfortable.

Megan hates Tate. I love her though, and it breaks my heart. Maybe we should get rid of her, even though she was a birthday present for me. We can't really afford her food and cat litter, anyway. Why is life so full of disappointments?

So I'm watching the news about this outbreak of salmonella being traced back to peanut butter. What the hell! And I've been consuming an unusually high amount of peanut butter in the last few days. I hope I don't get sick. That would be my luck.

Megan and I took a bunch of shit back to Kroger in Georgetown tonight just to get some cigarettes. How pathetic are we?? We were almost completely out and started to panic because we have not a dime to our names! I need to quit and so does she. We have noticed that it's much harder to breathe after all these years. I can't even climb the stairs hardly at all anymore! It really is sad. I never thought I'd be so dependent on CHEMICALS. I quit for 5 and a half months one time, and if I can do that I can quit again. I am sick of being unhealthy. Well, overall my health is fine, but you know what I mean. All this constant congestion is driving me insane!

I am giving up my apartment and moving back in with Megan. I simply can't afford a $410 rent payment, and it's not worth it anyway since the apartment itself is so small. Now I just have to figure out where to put all my shit. Megan's apartment is full of furniture that doesn't fit anyway, not to mention lots of other stuff. We are looking to move ASAP. Lord knows when we'll have that kind of money, though. Megan is supposed to be looking for a job, but the only problem is, we don't have the gas to ride around to go looking. We are, undoubtedly, kinda stuck. I can hardly wait until I get paid again.